Dear Polyphasic Sleep,
I hate you!
Sure, we had a pretty nice go-around back in ‘08 but that was years ago!
Get over it! I want nothing to do with you!
You keep trying to push this Friends with Benefits thing and I don’t want any of it.
I receive no such benefits from that arrangement!
I want a real sleep schedule in my life and I can’t have that with you lingering around! I just want to be able to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time for more than an odd day out of the week.